In our world, food hold a unique place. It is a source of pleasure, pride, and adventure. It is also a source of pain, shame, and disgust. Some people, at some times, love it, while other people, at other times, hate it. But what none of us can do is live without it.
Without food we would die. Oxygen takes the top spot in that competition, of course. Without being able to breathe we will die in a matter of minutes—with some degree of specific variation between individuals. Next, if you want to think of drink as being distinct from food, comes water. People can survive without water for a few days. Third in the race comes food. We can go longer without eating—but certainly not for much longer. Even if we eat a minimal amount just to stay alive, we won’t be healthy or capable of much of an active life. It’s essential and we can’t escape it.
But it’s not just the ingestion of nutrients that are important to our lives, it’s the taste of the food. We could swallow a series of pills, but that wouldn’t give us the same contentment as sitting down and savouring the flavours of a well-cooked meal. Eating something that tastes really good can be as rewarding as almost anything else we experience.
In an effort to treat them with a degree of humanity, prisoners on death row, the night before their execution, are given one last meal. They could be given other things. They could be given drugs, sex, the use of a TV with access to their favourite movie or TV show, a good massage, the chance to go outside one last time, or even the experience of a final shopping spree. But we don’t give them any of those things. Instead, we decided to give them a final meal. There may be some historical, and practical, reasons behind this particular gesture—among all other possible gestures—but it still remains that the experience of eating a formal meal has been given a special status. If we deem it that important in the final moments of a person’s life, surely it can’t any have less importance in all of the many days and years of a person’s normal life.
The hospitality industry is huge. I’m not going to say there isn’t some industry that accounts for more income worldwide, but I doubt there’s anything as prevalent or commonplace as a restaurant, pub, bar, fast food or takeout joint—or all of the grocery stores that provide the ingredients necessary for those to enjoy food that they’ve prepared at home for themselves, friends, and family.
Not only does the purchase of food, in one form or another, bring in a seriously large amount of money, but we’ve also made taste into a form of social status. It’s one thing to microwave a patty and put it between a couple of slices of white bread. It’s quite another thing to butcher your own organically-fed cow, grind your own beef, stuff it with Gorgonzola and truffles, cook it on a multi-thousand dollar barbecue—and serve it with a touch of ghost pepper sauce, foie gras, and flakes of gold leaf on a grilled brioche bun for $1,000. If you go the microwave-route, that’s mundane. If you take the other route, you’re an immediate celebrity. The result doesn’t even need to taste good in order to bring fame, but it certainly helps.
We have an international system that rates food quality and presentation. There is a crazy amount of competition for a restaurant to get even a single Michelin star, let alone two or three. Traditionally, it’s been equated with fine dining and upper-class nobility—although, recently, a street vendor from Singapore was awarded a Michelin star for his $1.50 a plate dishes. The media has exploded in recent years with shows centred on cooking and cooking competitions, and broadcasters now have TV channels dedicated to nothing but food. I’m sure there are a lot of people in the States who can’t name the Vice President—but they could tell you right away the name of the host of Hell’s Kitchen.
On the other hand, food isn’t always glamorous. There are several reasons why it can cause pain and social stigma.
You may live in fear of visiting any restaurant or cafeteria without an EpiPen. (That, like Kleenex, is just a well-known manufacturer. In reality, it’s an epinephrine autoinjector.) Allergies to peanuts can be so severe that even coming into contact with them can cause anaphylactic shock and, sometimes, death. Food allergies are on the rise. It’s not entirely clear what the reason for this is. Some say it has to do with pesticides, preservatives, and other non-organic treatments used in food production. Others say that infants and young children should be introduced to the now-common food allergens as soon as possible, as a way of “immunizing” them. On the other hand, adults can quite suddenly develop an allergy to something without any prior warning. (Bizarrely, food allergies can even disappear without warning—sometimes just temporarily, at other times permanently.)
Other ailments related to food include Celiac disease, Crohn’s disease, colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, diverticulitis, ulcers, and susceptibility to heartburn . Having any of these will cause you to be hyper-aware of what you’re ingesting and give you pause whenever you sit down at a table to eat.
These are all things that have a direct negative impact on our health, regardless of whether we like the taste of something and want to eat it or not. But there are also psychological, religious, or social reasons to avoid certain foods—even if eating them would cause us no immediate physical issues.
Vegetarians don’t eat meat. My sister chose to be a vegetarian for most of her younger life—although she did eat fish. (This was before the term pescatarian was coined—or at least before any of us had heard of it.) She didn’t want to be directly, or indirectly, responsible for causing another animal pain. She argued for eating fish because they don’t feel pain as other animals do and, therefore, could not be aware in any way of their own suffering. She is no longer a vegetarian, but prefers to eat meat from animals that have been humanely slaughtered.
I have an aunt and uncle who are vegans. They tell me they are healthier for maintaining their diet. It’s not clear if diets such as this really do make a difference in health. Perhaps some people are affected by these diets more than other people. In the end, it likely doesn’t matter because, in their case, they are happier for being vegans—and they do indulge in some non-diet foods very occasionally. They’re lucky. People with real medical conditions, or religious or moral convictions, can be on a diet—yet still know they are missing the taste of something they really enjoy. Many people on diets are actually unhappy about the fact that they are keeping themselves away from what they want to eat.
Perhaps the people who have the greatest love-hate relationship with food are those who are overweight. Whether because of metabolism, or simply an addictive personality that keeps them consuming too much food to be healthy, they are in an unenviable situation. Being overweight means being more prone to medical ailments and, depending on the amount of weight, limiting the ability to perform routine activities that others take for granted. But more than that, it carries a huge social stigma.
If somebody is overweight, people who are not overweight can assume them to be lazy and have no self-control. For somebody who doesn’t have this problem, it can be difficult to empathize. Aside from those minority of times when there actually are, there are no obvious medical conditions that account for it.
I might think to myself, “If I’ve lived my life with a moderate level of exercise and have not eaten excessively, and I have not ended up overweight—then why should that not be true of somebody else? Surely, if they just took care of themselves they would lose the weight. Therefore, they must be lazy and have no self-control.”
Note: In the above, you can also replace they must be lazy and have no self-control with they must not exercise and can’t stop eating.
The judgment is two-fold. Not only does the critic think poorly of the person’s intellectual and moral fortitude, but they also have an immediate emotional reaction to the fact that the person they’re seeing is so large. If it wasn’t for the latter, the former would almost never come up. Why should the critic care if somebody is overweight or not? When they walk down the street and pass a stranger who is not overweight but eating fast food, I find it highly doubtful that they think to themselves, “That poor person. They should know better than to eat that—it’s just not good for them.” Or even, “Look at that greasy burger. That’s disgusting.” No, for the critic there’s nothing wrong seeing an objectively healthy person pass them on the street with some fast food.
However, when the critic is passed by an overweight person on the street who is eating fast food, what goes through their mind is, “Look at that fat person. They’re disgusting. And of course they’re eating a greasy burger!” I can say this because, while I’m one of the least judgmental people I know and I never actually believe that of anybody, I have had such near-instantaneous emotional reactions myself—before realizing how ridiculous and unfair they were, and putting them aside. At least in our Western society, where being overweight is a cultural stigma—and where we’ve all been exposed to thinking that way—I would be surprised if anybody reading this has not had a similar fleeting reaction, at least occasionally.
Would the reaction be different if the overweight person who passed the critic on the street was eating a carrot? Almost certainly. While there’s some judgment based on the person themselves, there is also a strong correlation with what they’re seen to be eating—and the conclusion that they are overweight because of what they are eating. In the carrot-eating scenario, it’s believable that the thought of the critic would run more along the lines of, “That’s odd. They eat healthily. I wonder what’s going on that isn’t obvious?” If we could all always mentally substitute a carrot for fast food when looking at the person eating it, I think we’d be better off.
For the person who is overweight, the fact that they live with this judgment of others every day can be terrible. They can’t walk down the street—especially when eating fast food!—without wondering what everybody they pass is thinking about them. One of the more embarrassing circumstances has to be with airplane seating. Or any situation where attention has to be drawn to the fact that something different is happening.
Against all sense of reasonableness, the overweight person feels shame because of how they think or fear they will be judged. Also, unfairly or not, it puts a target on the food that they eat. They might enjoy what they’re eating—and they might even be eating healthily, even appropriately—but I can’t help but think they still end up resenting each bite they take. Rather than food being something to look forward to and enjoy, it ends up being a burden. At least when thought of in association.
(I should state that I am not overweight. While I make an effort to exercise and not eat that much, and I do feel I could lose several pounds—especially from my stomach— I can’t really speak from personal experience. Except for one thing. Even though I don’t have anything to complain about, I do still resent eating from time to time. Just because of those few extra pounds I’d like to get rid of in order to have the same “flat” stomach I had when I was in my teens and 20s. And even though I’ve never felt judged by anybody else, I do, sometimes, judge myself. I’m sure we’re all self-critical about something at some point. If I feel that way, with my little bit of excess, I can imagine how I might feel if I weighed significantly more.)
I think food is kind of like life. It is what you make of it, and if you’re unfortunate enough to be in a bad situation with respect to what you eat, you need to make the best of it that you can. Within the limits that are imposed on you, enjoy it to its fullest.